Hi There,
I am not sure I qualify, as I am not a wife but a girlfriend of about a year. He's been called about to his first assignment this season for a whole month. The longest he's been away. To top it off, its two states away! Last year when we first started dating he left for two weeks it wasn't too bad, but it was a taste of what it would be like. IT was hard. He was already living with me and it got lonely. Luckily I had the support of another girlfriend of a crew member that had went along with him.
We have become very close over the past year. We do not have any children together. So, its lonely at home while he is gone. He calls daily. Sometimes twice even. I can't help but be annoyed sometimes when he can't stay on the phone longer than I would like, then feel guilty when we hang up because I wasn't more supportive to him. I also feel guilty when I am complaining to him about my loneliness or that I am sad. I am not used to this. Will I ever get used to this? The sad thing is to date it hasn't even been a whole week he's been gone! And I have three, maybe even four more weeks of this left? Then, when he does come back, he will more than likely have to go back out to another assignment.
I am all new to this lingo and all, but he's not actually fighting a fire right now. He's on watch right now. There's fires where he's at right now, but he could be called at any time. And I am taking for granted all the times I am getting to talk on the phone to him. I can't even imagine how I am going to react when/if he has to go fight a fire! I will be a mess. :(
I am a mess already. Its hard to eat and to concentrate on work. I carry around my cell phone with everywhere-even to the bathroom- haha. How does everyone deal? Or does this even sound familiar?
Thanks for Listening-
M-
2 comments:
Hi M,
You are not alone. There are many of us out there who have the same feelings, thoughts and frustrations. I'm happy you found this site, as it may be helpful to you this fireseason. Hang in there, summer is just starting.
-- Hotshot Wife --
This is definitly very familiar. It doesn't necessarily get easier, you just kind of get used to it. Each fire gets a little less stressful. Sometimes the first fire of the season still gets me. The best thing you can do is keep busy while he is gone. It is a great time to take up a hobby you have been interested in. Joining some sort of a group hobby is great because then you have people to talk to. I joined a quilting guild. If you like hiking, maybe you can join a hiking group. Something like that. I still get annoyed when he can only talk a minute and feel guilty for not being supportive. Something to think about is texting when he can't talk. You still get to find out he is safe and it warms your heart without expecting him to have converstation. If you can try to talk about positive things and wait to talk about stressful things for later it will help him to concentrate on the fire and not worry about you. (This can be tough.) We're here for you too.
Merci
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