Hello!
My name is Tracy. My husband is a wildland firefighter. I've been following your blog for a few months now, and wanted to thank you for writing about it. We live in Iowa. Needless to say, wildfire isn't very common here. So I don't have any other WFF wives geographically close who understand. The wives of volunteer structure fire fighters and even local police officers can sort of relate. But it's not the same, as you know. Reading your blog makes me feel like I'm not loosing my mind.
My husband is in Marble Falls, Texas right now. Day six of his third 2-week detail of the season. Probably doesn't sound like much to you. I assume living in an area that sees fire your husband is out all the time. But it's the most my WFF has been gone since we got married five years ago. Almost six. Our anniversary is later this month. He's supposed to be home by then, but you never know.
I was excited for his first detail this season. Possibly even more so than he was. It was an adventure. And one that paid pretty well. This time it took some adjustment. Before it was just the two of us. But now we have a son who just turned one. The very first day our WFF was gone I realized what I was in for. I made a quick run to town. With my son. By myself. And I had to pee. Being the sole provider was tough. But it was still exciting. My WFF was making a difference. He was helping people. Saving property, maybe even lives. He's our hero.
Our WFF was only home for a week before he got orders for a second detail. The break was enough to rejuvenate me. I was ready to tackle another two weeks. Sure, some days were more exhausting than others. But I knew our WFF needed to know everything was OK back home. I told him we were doing great and smiled so he could hear it in my voice. And it was okay. It just wasn't the same.
When he got called this time, the excitement had worn off. I thought about every diaper change, every tear, every rough night, every daycare drop off and pick up, every feeding, every bedtime... for two weeks. More than two weeks. I was instantly tired. But the pity party didn't last long. Never does when I stop to think about the people he'll help, the lives he'll change. So I did laundry and helped him pack.
I miss him. Our son is too young to really understand. But we kiss a photo of Daddy good night. In the morning as we walk out the door, we kiss his photo again and tell him to be safe today.
Everything is fine at home. Just different.
And it's good to know someone else understands.
3 comments:
I completely understand where you are coming from! I live in Eastern South Dakota, so Wildland Firefighting is not very abundant in this area either. My husband and I had our first child, a son, born the end of January. Soon after his birth, my husband landed a permanent position in Utah. I just completed my Master's Degree in School Counseling and have a great position. Knowing that my husbands position would run from April to October, we decided I would stay back in South Dakota with our son so that I could continue with my career as well. Where he is stationed in Utah is very desolate and no job opportunities for myself. We had talked about my moving to be with him but we just can't make it off of his salary alone right now. It makes it so hard though, I completely understand the tears and the rough nights. I absolutely dread dropping my son off at daycare in the mornings and can't wait to pick him up after work. What a crazy schedule though, as soon as we get home its time to get supper ready, feed the little one and myself, bath time, story time, then off to bed. I am pretty exhausted after a long day so I tidy up the house, do laundry, and dishes and then its time to hit the bed myself to prepare for another busy day the next day. I think the hardest part for me is not having my husband around to interact with our son. My husband left when Mason was 2.5 months old and with him nearing 8 months I feel that is a long time away from him. My husband has come to see us for a week in July and I flew with Mason to see him in August, but two weeks out of a 6 month period is not much. I realize that our son is also too young to realize why daddy has to be gone, and he was so young when he left that I don't think he will know what to think when his daddy returns in October. I definitely empathize with single mothers. What a previous thing, a little one, such a blessing! But it makes life interesting just the two of us!
Hi Tracy,
I am not a WFFW, just a plain old boring 24/48 FFW> :) I wish I had some sage words of advice. I married an elementary teacher, who, 4 kids later, decided that FFing was his true calling. Please feel free to contact me if you need to chat. I have found that fire wives are the only ones who really get it. It is nice to have someone to vent to when things get rough. One of my closest friends, through this networking is in Texas, while I am in Wisconsin. But, it works. We all know that fate always saves the craziness for when our FFs are on duty.
Hang in there. Please let me know if there is anything I can do.
mfdwife.trina @ gmail . com
Thanks so much ladies. Just reading your words, knowing you understand is so comforting. Abigail, I can't even imagine being a "single mom" for MONTHS at a time. Or maybe I don't want to! You are stronger than I. Since it's October now, I hope your WFF is home.
Trina, a 24/48 FF is far from "plain and boring"! Not only is wildland firefighting rare here. But so are full-time FDs. The communities are so small they're all volunteer. So I don't even know any wives of full-time structure FFs either!
And my husband is on the volunteer dept too. So even when his is home we lose him when the pager goes off as well. The other volunteer FF wives understand dealing with our FFs leaving during supper, baseball games, birthday parties. But they can't relate to being without him 24 hours a day.
My WFF came home on Tuesday. So we're the excitement of him being home has waned a little. Now we're dealing with reverting back to our old routine together. Even a good change is still change. The good news is it sounds like he'll be home for awhile.
Again, thanks for your thoughts. Hope to see you around this blog and other FF wife blogs in the future.
Post a Comment